“But how will he accomplish all that in a single segment?” you ask yourself. Easy. I will scrutinize and affront the hard work of my most diligent students. I mean, what’s the point of teaching at a middle school in Japan, if not to make fun of the kids who try really hard? 13 year olds are inherently stupid, awkward and creepy. But when they attempt to articulate their stupid, awkward creepiness in a foreign language? Mocking them just makes sense.
These are authentic quotes from actual students/Japanese people. Also, in italics, I’ve included the avuncular and highly educational rejoinders I wish I had the courage to say to their faces. But I never do. Because I am a paradigm of professionalism.
Most of these are written responses to classroom assignments. The other ones are just some crazy shit I heard/read once.